1 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,460 Thank you. 2 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,228 Thank you very much indeed. 3 00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:15,230 Thank you. 4 00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:19,010 Thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, it's very nice to be back with you once 5 00:02:19,010 --> 00:02:23,310 again. You know, for quite a while we've been on at the BBC to put on an amateur 6 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,950 talent show, and at last they have agreed to do this, but they've left it a 7 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:27,728 little bit late. 8 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,210 As a matter of fact, most of the good talent has already been used. 9 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:36,210 However, here is the best of the rest in the BBC's own Opportunity Calls. 10 00:02:56,300 --> 00:03:01,000 Good, good evening and welcome to Opportunity Calls, the show in which we 11 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,660 to prove once and for all that the stars of today are truly the unknown artists 12 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:06,660 of tomorrow. 13 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:11,620 Over here, ladies and gentlemen, we have our first discoverer, Stan Moore from 14 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:14,400 Romford. So you are Stan Moore from Romford. 15 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:17,540 No, I am Ron Moore from Stanford. 16 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,860 Married, I have 15 children. 17 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,770 My hobby is flying my kite. 18 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:29,290 Well, that really is wonderful. Thank you. Really wonderful. 19 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,410 Well, tell us, who have you brought along with you this evening, sir? 20 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:36,350 Well, Huey, I brought along Egbert Nogsworth. 21 00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:38,470 Eggnog for short. 22 00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:43,770 Well, we want to hear from him. Now, ladies and gentlemen, for Egbert 23 00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:46,390 from Eden, opportunity comes. 24 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:02,970 Just read an interesting article, the most interesting I've ever seen. 25 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:08,370 It told the difference between a fat girl and a girl who's lean. 26 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:13,810 It said both of them may smoke a cigarette, but it's one of life's 27 00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:18,990 that the fat girl always finishes first, because she takes bigger draws. 28 00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:20,490 I know it's true. 29 00:04:20,810 --> 00:04:23,230 I know it's right. 30 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:26,250 It's in the paper. 31 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:35,450 And the fashion editor tells us that the necklines are getting bold. 32 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:40,730 Now wearing the new religious look, it's what they call low and behold. 33 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:46,230 Now the necklines are getting lower and the skirts go up each week. 34 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:51,890 I don't know where it's all leading, but I'd like to be there when they meet. I 35 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:52,890 know it. 36 00:04:57,740 --> 00:05:01,000 the papers in black and white. 37 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:07,540 And the readers write that Dr. Jolly good because he helps them so. 38 00:05:07,780 --> 00:05:12,820 If they say they suffer from acne, he says move to awesome so. 39 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:18,240 A lady wrote that a cartridge had been swallowed by her young son. 40 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:23,140 He says just you keep him wrapped up warm and don't point him at anyone. 41 00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,740 I know it's true. 42 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,300 I know it's right. 43 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:49,580 He is Albert Trent from Walthamstow. And tell me, sir, who have you brought 44 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:50,580 along with you this evening? 45 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,420 I've brought along my cousin Huey Huey. 46 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,180 Huey Huey? 47 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,320 No. His name's Huey. 48 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,940 Huey. Your cousin's called Huey, too. 49 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,480 No, he's just called Huey. 50 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:08,700 Well, tell me, sir, when did you first discover that your cousin had this 51 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,740 talent? Well, I'll tell you, Huey. 52 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,740 One Christmas, like, he'd come up from the West Country, you know, and stay 53 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:17,760 us, like, and he was spending all his time up the attic, you know. Well, I 54 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,340 thought he might have been a bit cold up there, you know, but he wasn't, because 55 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:23,260 he, like, had Anita up there. 56 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:24,860 Anita who? 57 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,820 Not to make me rude. An eater. 58 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:28,540 An oil eater. 59 00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:33,000 When you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer. 60 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:39,880 Well, anyway, we want to hear him. And now, for your cousin and his fiancée, 61 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:46,540 work under the professional name of Cheddar Cave and Gorgeous, Opportunity 62 00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:01,329 then, Johnny? 63 00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:02,330 Hello, Dugganer. 64 00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:08,250 Johnny, I hear that you won 75 ,000 pounds on the football pools last year. 65 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:09,450 That's right, Dugganer. 66 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,130 75 ,000 pounds. 67 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:14,650 Tell me, Johnny, what did you do with all the money? 68 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,710 I gave most of it to charity. 69 00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:20,750 Well, that is very good of you. That's what I keep telling her. 70 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,830 She'll never find another like me. 71 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:37,320 you had a lovely higger, would you hold it against me? 72 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,880 Right, 73 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:43,300 you go then. 74 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,940 Well, that's all right. 75 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,139 Good help. 76 00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:47,140 Thank you. 77 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,840 And, Johnny, don't keep pushing the girls about. 78 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,400 Well, good help. Here, are you going to drink that? 79 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:58,500 That's quite right, Johnny. I'm going to drink this. And what am I going to do 80 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,500 in the meantime? 81 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,360 In the meantime, Johnny, you are going to... 82 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:11,070 recite the alphabet why don't you drink that incostable 83 00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:17,810 incostable impossible eh well we shall soon see 84 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:22,190 about that off you go A G C D 85 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:41,430 Now, Miss Fosdike, as the principal of a stage academy and an ex -actress 86 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:45,690 yourself, tell me, what advice would you give to the young, new actors and 87 00:09:45,690 --> 00:09:46,690 actresses of today? 88 00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:47,910 Well, Huey... 89 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:15,790 Why was that? 90 00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:22,470 Because, as a rule, there was no one... And 91 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:26,090 another thing is, it never paraphrased. 92 00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:29,730 What exactly would you mean by that? 93 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:36,370 Well, for instance, if the script says he was bent on seeing her, then you must 94 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:40,450 say he was bent on seeing her. Not the sight of her doubled him up. 95 00:10:41,610 --> 00:10:43,970 I see. Well, tell us... 96 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,260 Miss Fosdyke, do you still act yourself at all? 97 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:53,840 Oh, heavens above, no. I live in quiet retirement in Reigate with my 12 98 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,840 and my husband. 99 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,400 He's a producer, you know. 100 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,740 Madam. 101 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,400 Madam. 102 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,980 Who have you brought along with you this evening? 103 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:10,420 Well, Huey, I've brought along three of my pupils who together make up Fred and 104 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,560 the debutantes. 105 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,600 For Fred and the debutantes. 106 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:16,780 Opportunity call. 107 00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:31,590 I just want to say, keep those letters coming in, will you? Because it really 108 00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:35,010 your vote that really counts. Here's the address to write to friends. It's to 109 00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:37,450 me, Huey Carlton Green, Television Center. 110 00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:40,170 I'll just give you that address once more. 111 00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:43,690 It's Charlie Pimple, Christian Grove, Hitchinburg. 112 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:48,470 Don't forget, folks. Tune in again this time next week and see last week's 113 00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:50,690 winners, Kathy Kay and Alan Bree. 114 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,360 Jeremy Gulliver. 115 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:05,200 Good evening, viewers. I'm speaking to you from the office of Stuttle Airlines 116 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,640 Limited. And they're offering this year what must be one... What must be one of 117 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,460 the cheapest holidays on record this year. 118 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,840 Great Britain to the continent by air for only 22 and 6 months. 119 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,340 And with me now is the managing director, Mr. Fred Scuttle. 120 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,560 Good evening, sir. 121 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,140 Good evening, viewers. 122 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,220 Good evening, Mr. Scuttle. Well, now, do tell us. 123 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,100 Great Britain to the continent by air for 22 and 6 months. Yes, sir. Well, 124 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,029 how do you do it? 125 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:34,010 By keeping our overhead down and our own undercarriage up. 126 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,350 I see. Small profit, quick return. 127 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:40,810 Exactly, sir. Yes, yes, yes. I see. Well, now, tell me, Mr. 128 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,130 Scuttle... Captain Scuttle. 129 00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:44,690 With a cap. Captain Scuttle. Yes, yes. 130 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:45,970 Sorry. 131 00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:49,630 Captain, you're one of the pilots, then? Oh, indeed, yes. I've been at it for 132 00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:50,630 years, sir. 133 00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:51,730 Flying, that is. 134 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,260 There's a continent under this. 135 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,500 I've flown all sorts. I have. I've flown a lot. 136 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,480 Bikers? Oh, yes, sir, yes. 137 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:00,700 Ukes, oh. 138 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,320 And you know, even now, sir, I still get a thrill. 139 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,420 I still get a thrill now, sir, when I hear the old steps calling out, fasten 140 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:11,060 your safety belts, fags out, chuck away. 141 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,200 No, sweet, they don't mind, sir. It's all right. 142 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:18,000 It's off, off into the wild blue yonder, sir. You'll never, you never know 143 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,999 what's going to be up there, sir. 144 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,040 One minute, sir, you're cruising along with the wind whistling round your 145 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,040 fuselage. 146 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,060 The next minute, sir, you're bobbing about like a puff of wind in a column. 147 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,180 Tell me, Captain Scuttle, how many pilots do you have? Just the one, for 148 00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,680 The one? Yeah, I am the pilot. We only have the one plane, you see, sir. Only 149 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,460 one plane? Come on, sir. In your brush, you are, Captain Scuttle, it distinctly 150 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,220 says you've got a fleet of planes. Where does it say that? There, there, fleet 151 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,720 of planes. Where does it say that? 152 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,640 Oh! Oh, yes, yes. Oh, it does, yes. 153 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,600 Oh, that's a typographical error. That's Phoebe's on that, you see. Phoebe, 154 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,680 she's your secretary? 155 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:53,860 As well, yes. 156 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,280 As well as what? 157 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,240 Well, as well as being the airline stewardess. 158 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,540 Where is she now, Captain? Keeping it off. 159 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,119 Keeping it off? 160 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,860 Yeah, well, she had a bit of a busy night last night with you. Oh, you know. 161 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,860 She can resist anything except temptation, you see. 162 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,080 And I can't get through to her that the drinks are for the passengers, not for 163 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,080 her, you see. 164 00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:22,000 It's a funny girl, but she's the only girl I can get for the money, actually. 165 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,940 Oh, how much is that? Two pounds a week, sir. 166 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,200 Two pounds a week, Captain Scuttle. Can she live on that? Oh, yes, sir. That and 167 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,200 her old age pension? 168 00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,880 Well, now, telling more about this trip, Great Britain to the continent for 22 169 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,420 and 3. Yes, sir. Where do you take off from? 170 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:36,820 Dragon Tree Airport. 171 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,039 Oh, where's that? 172 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,040 Out of Hebrides. 173 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,840 Yes, you take off from the outer Hebrides, and where do you land? On the 174 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,840 continent, sir. 175 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,740 Yes. Captain's got a whereabouts on the continent. 176 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:51,040 Well, that depends where we run out of fuel. 177 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,080 It's lost, you see. We don't commit ourselves, sir. You'll see it down 178 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,900 don't commit ourselves. No, but where do you make for? 179 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,420 Trouville. Ah, Trouville. Well, that's in France, isn't it? Is it? 180 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:07,940 Yes, more than that. Yes, I'll settle for France, yes. Have you ever landed at 181 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:08,940 Trouville? Oh. 182 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Two or three times, sir. 183 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,500 At the airport? 184 00:17:12,859 --> 00:17:14,720 No, sir, at the tennis club, actually. 185 00:17:15,819 --> 00:17:18,700 We land on one of the tennis courts, you see, sir. 186 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,160 You land on a tennis court? Yes, sir. Tell me, how on earth do you manage to 187 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,579 stop in such a short distance? 188 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:24,839 They leave the net up. 189 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,480 Captain Scuttle, when is your next flight scheduled? 190 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:31,880 We are flying tonight. 191 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,800 Sounds like a Chinese chip chop, doesn't it? 192 00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:41,150 Now don't forget, viewers, the cheapest way to the continent, Scotland Airlines, 193 00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,770 only 22 shillings and sixpence. Yes, but before you go, Captain, you take off 194 00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:47,270 from the outer Hebrides. Yes, but how does one get to the airport? 195 00:17:47,570 --> 00:17:49,370 Oh, we have a boat that goes across from the mainland. 196 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,670 Ah, I see. 197 00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:51,870 Now how much does that cost? 198 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:53,670 That's 35 pounds single. 199 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:12,540 With the new divorce laws, England will become the easiest place in Europe in 200 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:13,620 which to get a divorce. 201 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,340 But what's the situation in the rest of Europe? 202 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:21,860 Well, my wife, she's so cold -blooded, you know. She's like a refrigerator. 203 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,740 I'm a very hot -blooded man. 204 00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,460 Makes life very difficult, huh? 205 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:31,880 But now everything is all right. Life is worth living again. 206 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,340 We have got twin beds. 207 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,360 But I mean, how does having twin beds help? 208 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,560 Hers is in Dusseldorf. Mine is in Berlin. 209 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:50,140 The people of Bessarabia no can have the word. It's forbidden. 210 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:54,600 My wife, she don't sleep at night. 211 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,020 Got to hypnotize herself to get to sleep. 212 00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:00,920 All night long is a toss, a toss. 213 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,360 Got to sleep. 214 00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:04,850 Feets, feet, go to sleep. 215 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:09,410 Kniez, kniez, go to sleep. All over, go to sleep, go to sleep. 216 00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:13,390 Last night, I accidentally nudged her with my elbow. 217 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:16,890 She says, oh, wake up, everyone. We're going to have a party. 218 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,910 Crash, no, you're a spook. 219 00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:32,030 You know, this morning my wife, she threw a teapot in my head. 220 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:34,370 And a chair. 221 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,270 And a table. 222 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:39,610 All the time shouting and screaming and kicking. 223 00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:43,950 But you know, senor, he does have his compensations. 224 00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,210 What compensations are they? 225 00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:51,870 Senor, when you are married to a woman like that, who's afraid of a little boy? 226 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,270 Oh, oui. 227 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,410 C 'est vrai. 228 00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:06,810 Nescafe. 229 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,250 Oh, 230 00:20:15,370 --> 00:20:16,370 you mean background. 231 00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:17,970 I think. 232 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:19,580 Of course. 233 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:23,120 You see, my father was le condagnier. 234 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:26,580 His father was a fisherman from Marseille. 235 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,620 Gaston, you are a pig. 236 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,900 You are a big, fat, ugly, horrible pig. 237 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,660 It's all right. He does not speak English. 238 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:45,560 And you still don't want to get a divorce? 239 00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:50,230 Oh, Monsieur Wicker, you have to come to terms with life, n 'est -ce pas? 240 00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:52,370 Eh, Coco? 241 00:20:55,350 --> 00:21:02,110 Oh, il est mignon, il est chouette, vachement chouette. 242 00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:05,370 Alors, c 'est la vie, n 'est -ce pas, Monsieur Wicker, hein? 243 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:08,190 Et t 'es pas mal non plus. Et t 'es -tu, hein? 244 00:21:08,650 --> 00:21:11,590 Oh, quelle jolie personne. 245 00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:31,810 I bought her a beautiful home in Amsterdam, on the Rembrandt's plank. 246 00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:35,510 The flowers, the garden, it was a beautiful house. 247 00:21:38,570 --> 00:21:42,930 Twelve weeks after we married, she went off with my best friend. 248 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:49,150 And I miss him. 249 00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:57,030 Well, our continental cousins might not have the easy divorce laws that we have, 250 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:59,910 but they do have one thing that we British lack. 251 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,650 And that is tolerance. 252 00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:51,220 trees underneath. 253 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:57,240 When she bites her fingernails, her mother hides her teeth. 254 00:22:57,580 --> 00:23:03,280 Her general appearance is what you call offbeat. 255 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:10,860 I don't mind girls with kinky boots, but she's got kinky feet. 256 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,300 like pearls, only pearl seeds ain't so hot. 257 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:38,420 Her heart is in the right place, but the rest of her is not. 258 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,380 Now at her birthday party, the cake, it wasn't bad. 259 00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:30,090 When she went out with the bops, before she could say, I'm not that. 260 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,160 Thank you, Madam Comrade. 261 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,220 I will get the menu, Comrade. 262 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,440 Long live the gremlin. 263 00:25:36,420 --> 00:25:38,780 We may have rain later today. 264 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,080 But I do not think it will rain tomorrow. 265 00:25:43,980 --> 00:25:46,400 For every door, there is a key. 266 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,780 I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. 267 00:25:57,450 --> 00:25:58,590 Hairs on a duck egg. 268 00:26:00,590 --> 00:26:03,250 But you always find hairs on an ape. 269 00:26:04,790 --> 00:26:10,310 It is only the hairs on a gooseberry that stop it from being a grape. 270 00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:19,130 Don't forget the fruit gums, ma 'am. 271 00:26:20,930 --> 00:26:24,070 Hands that do dishes can be soft as your eye. 272 00:26:26,090 --> 00:26:27,090 Do you want to earn our comrades? 273 00:26:27,430 --> 00:26:32,710 Yes. I have a glass of Georgian white wine with vodka chaser, stuffed 274 00:26:32,710 --> 00:26:37,970 Bessarabian vine leaves, Caucasian shuslik, and Siberian peach melba. And 275 00:26:38,010 --> 00:26:44,910 comrade? I shall have a half -mild and bitter Brown Windsor soup, roast beef, 276 00:26:44,990 --> 00:26:48,890 Yorkshire pudding, boiled potatoes, a cup of tea with milk with no sugar. 277 00:26:49,330 --> 00:26:52,950 And I shall have rice pudding for afters. 278 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,300 You don't think he suspects I'm English, do you? Of course not. 279 00:26:59,340 --> 00:27:01,840 He's not one of us, is he? Of course not. He's one of them. 280 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,280 I thought he was the way he went out. 281 00:27:07,140 --> 00:27:12,100 Oh, James, you are so observant and so very, very handsome. 282 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,840 Yes, I am, aren't I? 283 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,620 Oh, James, I have waited all my life for a man such as you. 284 00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:21,060 How wise. 285 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,120 Oh, here comes the waiter. 286 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,340 For you, comrade, brown Windsor soup. Thank you. 287 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,360 And for you, madam comrade, Caucasian chesley. 288 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,820 I beg your pardon, madam. I am so sorry for being so clumsy. 289 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,020 Heavens! The envelope is missing. 290 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,760 That swine must have taken it. 291 00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:43,160 I hope it didn't contain anything valuable, did it? Only false 292 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,700 Jane. What a crafter you are. 293 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,340 The real information is in the next carriage. 294 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:52,780 Meet me outside my private compartment in five minutes. 295 00:27:53,470 --> 00:27:54,470 I have plans. 296 00:27:54,810 --> 00:27:56,530 Perhaps I'd better come in with you. Why? 297 00:27:56,850 --> 00:27:58,250 I have plans as well. 298 00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:00,110 Oh, James! 299 00:28:00,490 --> 00:28:01,490 James, darling! 300 00:28:01,970 --> 00:28:04,390 Please don't leave me. I love you so much. 301 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,170 Do I know you, madam? 302 00:28:06,870 --> 00:28:08,090 But I'm Hilda. 303 00:28:08,410 --> 00:28:10,550 I live next door to you in Hampstead. 304 00:28:10,750 --> 00:28:12,930 We spent last New Year's Eve together. 305 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:14,290 So we did. 306 00:28:15,730 --> 00:28:17,970 Well, didn't that mean anything to you? 307 00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:20,450 Well, I mean, my dear, you mustn't take it to heart, so. 308 00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:24,620 I mean, I'm a secret agent now. I'm licensed to love. 309 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,460 This sort of thing happens all the time. You must remember, I'm in the secret 310 00:28:29,460 --> 00:28:30,460 service now. 311 00:28:30,820 --> 00:28:33,500 Yes, and I'm in the... now. 312 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:43,520 You mean to say you're going to have a... This never happens to James Bond. 313 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,780 we should warn you that the next item is unsuitable for people of a nervous 314 00:28:56,780 --> 00:28:57,780 disposition. 315 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,580 I won't answer it. 316 00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:15,500 It'll be another of them monotonous phone calls. 317 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,080 It'll be that woman again. 318 00:29:18,580 --> 00:29:19,900 I don't know who she is. 319 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,700 I don't half fancy you. 320 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:25,240 Better think to say to a complete stranger. 321 00:29:27,580 --> 00:29:29,120 With all that heavy breathing. 322 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,020 Enough to give you the abscess. 323 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,020 Hello, what do you want? 324 00:29:34,380 --> 00:29:35,820 Oh, it's you again. I might have known. 325 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:38,880 Well, of course I am, madam. It's half past nine. 326 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,120 They're blue. 327 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,200 I'm 42 round the chest. 328 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:51,620 44 round the waist. 329 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,300 My other measurements for my own business have nothing to do with you 330 00:29:55,300 --> 00:29:56,300 whatsoever. 331 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:57,680 You'd like to watch? 332 00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,640 That's the most disgusting suggestion I ever heard. 333 00:30:01,180 --> 00:30:02,440 Besides, where could we go? 334 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,940 Don't you dare come round here. If you do, I shall set the police on you. Now 335 00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,600 away, madam, and stop pestering me. 336 00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:11,280 Oh, golly. 337 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,980 Night after night, it's the same thing. She might be a psychopath for all I 338 00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:17,980 know. 339 00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:19,840 She might commit some hyena's crime. 340 00:30:22,580 --> 00:30:25,860 Why don't you go and wash your mouth out with soap and water, you dirty, 341 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:26,920 filthy... Oh, hello, Vicar. 342 00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,700 I'm sorry, Vicar. No, it's all right. I had to get out of bed to answer the 343 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:33,700 phone. 344 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,580 No, no, well, Vicar, you see, I was lying in bed just now talking to this 345 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,560 On the phone, Vicar. 346 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,220 Well, that's just the... I don't know who she is. She keeps ringing up and... 347 00:30:45,980 --> 00:30:47,320 Making odd suggestions. 348 00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:50,160 Keeps asking me what colour my vest is. 349 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,160 It's white. Why? 350 00:30:54,200 --> 00:31:01,060 I don't know any women, Vicar. Only the woman at the hostel 351 00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:02,480 across the road. It wouldn't be her. 352 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,400 Well, it just wouldn't be her, that's all. 353 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,600 Because she's a Lebanese. 354 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,440 attitude, Becker. 355 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,380 Well, it's only the girls at work, but it wouldn't be one of them, would it? 356 00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:51,760 Good morning, Mr. Treader. You look tired this morning. 357 00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:53,740 Didn't you sleep well? 358 00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:04,680 Is something troubling you? 359 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,400 Miss Crimp. 360 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,200 Would you come here a moment, please? 361 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,480 I should like you to do something for me. 362 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:15,800 Oh, what? 363 00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:18,720 Say, I don't half fancy you. 364 00:32:19,300 --> 00:32:21,120 Oh, Mr. Treader, I never knew you cared. 365 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,180 Not me, you. You, me. I want you to say it. Say, I don't half fancy you. 366 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,440 I don't half fancy you. 367 00:32:29,020 --> 00:32:31,080 Well, put a bit of lust into it. 368 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,080 I mean, a bit of passion. 369 00:32:33,340 --> 00:32:34,340 Say it in my ear. 370 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,160 I don't half fancy you. 371 00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:39,900 Not finish your breakfast yet. 372 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:41,859 Oh, sir. 373 00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:44,160 I'm sorry. I think I'd better get back to China. 374 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:45,500 Yes, you have. 375 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,180 I'll see you later. 376 00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:49,580 Now, look here. 377 00:32:50,020 --> 00:32:51,940 Trader! What's going on here? 378 00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:53,260 I don't know what you mean. 379 00:32:53,420 --> 00:32:55,220 Oh, yes, you do. The whole place is going to pot. 380 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,620 Look at this sign you wrote. 381 00:32:56,980 --> 00:33:00,740 How would you like to see your girlfriend in this for 12 shillings? 382 00:33:00,740 --> 00:33:03,180 all right. It belongs in millinery under one of the bonnets. 383 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,760 But I found it in hardware in a zinc bath. 384 00:33:07,620 --> 00:33:10,580 What about this from the photographic department? Well, it's only the picture 385 00:33:10,580 --> 00:33:12,620 a baby. But you sent it to a honeymoon couple. 386 00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,460 And look what you've written on the back. 387 00:33:14,830 --> 00:33:16,070 Please say how many you want. 388 00:33:17,950 --> 00:33:18,990 And what size. 389 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:21,930 Do you want them in sepia? 390 00:33:23,030 --> 00:33:24,310 I'm so sorry. 391 00:33:24,910 --> 00:33:25,910 Sorry. 392 00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:29,390 Cyril. 393 00:33:30,250 --> 00:33:34,150 Now, something's upsetting you, isn't it? You can tell me what it is. 394 00:33:34,610 --> 00:33:37,150 Well, sir, I keep getting these phone calls. 395 00:33:37,970 --> 00:33:38,970 Phone calls? 396 00:33:39,110 --> 00:33:41,370 Yes, it's like a voice on the phone. It keeps ringing up. 397 00:33:41,750 --> 00:33:42,870 Well, what does it say? 398 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,320 It says, I don't half fancy you. 399 00:33:47,580 --> 00:33:49,680 I don't half fancy you. 400 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,520 No. 401 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,200 It was deeper than that. 402 00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:02,580 It was a woman. 403 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,060 I tell you, she's threatening to come round. I tell you, I'm absolutely 404 00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:07,860 terrified. I don't know what's going to happen. 405 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,219 Mother. I'm home, Mother. 406 00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:24,880 Mother Angel. 407 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:27,420 Mother, my treasure. Mother, love. 408 00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:29,920 Oh, fuck that old crow in a minute. 409 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:31,900 Mother. 410 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:37,340 Hello. Dear son, I'm writing this slowly because I know you cannot read very 411 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:38,340 fast. 412 00:34:41,260 --> 00:34:44,580 I have gone to Aunty Louie's for the night. I'll be home in the morning. 413 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,080 Oh, sacred blue. 414 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:48,840 There's no more light. 415 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,340 Go away, you hooligan! Go away, you hooligan! 416 00:35:10,940 --> 00:35:13,500 The side door! I forgot to lock the side door. 417 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:20,520 What do you want? 418 00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:21,740 You're not to touch me. 419 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,420 Hi, pretty boy. 420 00:35:23,940 --> 00:35:25,220 Hello, Poochie. 421 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:26,960 You're a real Poochie. 422 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,400 I know. 423 00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:30,320 What does she mean, Poochie? 424 00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:32,240 She means you're very attractive. 425 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,940 I know that as well. Put down my really tight South African Algerian cherry. 426 00:35:36,740 --> 00:35:38,200 Leave my boy's own paper alone. 427 00:35:38,420 --> 00:35:40,900 You wouldn't understand. It's for fellas anyway. It's not for girls. 428 00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:44,660 Here, what's this then? Here, give me that. It's my key. And I'm not a tiger. 429 00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:47,640 If you don't give me that key, I shall take it by force. Will you? Yes, I will. 430 00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:50,540 No, I won't. Oh, I never want to answer you. 431 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,720 So it's you. So you're the one who's been phoning up making these improper 432 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:54,720 suggestions. 433 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,360 Well, you can pack up those thoughts right away because I don't believe in 434 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,038 sort of thing. 435 00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,320 Well, not before marriage anyway. 436 00:36:00,180 --> 00:36:01,960 And I'm not too sure about afterwards either. 437 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,360 You want to try and kiss me? 438 00:36:07,790 --> 00:36:08,830 No, no, no. 439 00:36:10,030 --> 00:36:11,030 There. 440 00:36:13,150 --> 00:36:15,670 Now, what good's that done you? Here, save some for me. 441 00:36:16,030 --> 00:36:17,810 No. Oh, please don't. Oh, please don't. Oh, please. 442 00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:19,810 My, 443 00:36:22,110 --> 00:36:24,990 it's warm in here. You're shameless, you are. Shameless. 444 00:36:25,470 --> 00:36:28,130 Shameless. Cor, look at this. It's Lawrence Harvey. 445 00:36:28,470 --> 00:36:30,650 I don't suppose you'll be satisfied if you kiss me at all. 446 00:36:31,330 --> 00:36:32,870 Cor, you've got to be joking. 447 00:36:47,660 --> 00:36:48,740 They were holding me hostage. 448 00:36:52,020 --> 00:36:53,260 Note on me hostage. 449 00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:59,040 They were like kissing me and pressing themselves up against me and all sorts 450 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,680 of... I'll see you later on. 451 00:37:20,270 --> 00:37:23,870 Two very good friends of ours. And I know they're friends of yours, too. 452 00:37:24,130 --> 00:37:26,710 Here they are, then, back from their latest travel. 453 00:37:27,470 --> 00:37:29,810 Armand and Michaela Menes. 454 00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:35,950 Good evening. 455 00:37:36,090 --> 00:37:37,090 Good evening. 456 00:37:37,330 --> 00:37:40,230 Good evening. Tonight we're going to show you, with the aid of some 457 00:37:40,490 --> 00:37:41,750 our latest journey in Africa. 458 00:37:42,230 --> 00:37:45,350 I expect also you'll be able to meet Michaela's latest... 459 00:37:46,570 --> 00:37:50,110 It was at the end of January. We first arrived at the mouth of the Pungent 460 00:37:50,110 --> 00:37:52,530 River. And we were met there by the men of the tribe. 461 00:37:52,750 --> 00:37:55,410 And they seemed very interested in our motor -driven launch. 462 00:37:55,630 --> 00:37:57,450 But the ladies were much more reserved. 463 00:37:57,890 --> 00:38:00,530 They seemed to think that Armand was going to attack them. 464 00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:07,050 Yes, they even went so far, even went so far to carry little knives with which 465 00:38:07,050 --> 00:38:08,050 to protect themselves. 466 00:38:08,170 --> 00:38:09,430 This was quite unnecessary. 467 00:38:10,030 --> 00:38:11,030 Oh, of course, of course. 468 00:38:13,850 --> 00:38:15,370 Perhaps they were taken aback. 469 00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:21,350 I think they were taken aback by my direct approach, which is never, ever 470 00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:27,310 Well, I asked a Yubangi, or plate -lipped lady, the way to the Yakula 471 00:38:27,510 --> 00:38:32,430 and she replied, Yakula, Nakahula, Lakula. Which means I cannot answer you 472 00:38:32,430 --> 00:38:34,290 because you are standing on my lower lip. 473 00:38:37,070 --> 00:38:39,810 But she was an interesting girl, not just a pretty face. 474 00:38:41,759 --> 00:38:46,700 The natives of the Pungent River, unlike many tribes in Africa, do not practice 475 00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:49,240 polygamy. They are very good at it. 476 00:38:52,540 --> 00:38:54,640 They're a very excitable race. 477 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:58,460 And on feast days or luau's, they sing and dance to their sun god. 478 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,580 It's all very, very impressive as they dance up and down on red hot coals and 479 00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:06,500 broken glass and red hot coals and all sorts of broken things like glass. 480 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,880 And it doesn't hurt them a bit. 481 00:39:10,190 --> 00:39:11,950 Because they wear big hobnail boots. 482 00:39:14,150 --> 00:39:18,710 Armand got very attached to a Eubangee or plate -lipped lady. 483 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:23,190 Well, you see, yes, she captured and tamed no fewer than 47 different 484 00:39:23,190 --> 00:39:25,670 of African wild birds. 47? Here is one. 485 00:39:26,370 --> 00:39:28,450 This is the trumpet bird. 486 00:39:28,770 --> 00:39:32,770 Unlike many of the other African birds, the trumpet bird only has one mating 487 00:39:32,770 --> 00:39:33,770 season for a year. 488 00:39:34,010 --> 00:39:35,710 This lasts for 12 months. 489 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,660 Unfortunately, there's no female of the species. 490 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,760 The trumpet bird is a very unhappy bird. 491 00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:46,480 What the hell's that? 492 00:39:47,900 --> 00:39:50,760 Oh, this is the OB bird. 493 00:39:51,260 --> 00:39:55,280 The OB bird is the smallest of the African wild birds and weighs only one 494 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,198 quarter ounces. 495 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,840 Yet every year it lays an egg weighing two and a quarter pounds. 496 00:40:00,580 --> 00:40:04,040 Needless to say, the OB bird is also a very unhappy bird. 497 00:40:07,850 --> 00:40:11,350 There's a very friendly rivalry among the natives that live on either bank of 498 00:40:11,350 --> 00:40:15,030 the Pungent River. On the north live the mopos, and the mopos are fishermen. 499 00:40:15,190 --> 00:40:19,530 They're absolutely fearless as they wade about in this alligator -infested 500 00:40:19,530 --> 00:40:20,930 river, spearing fish. 501 00:40:21,290 --> 00:40:24,530 Absolutely fearless, the mopos, wading about among the alligators. 502 00:40:24,890 --> 00:40:28,650 And the ulas on the south bank, the ulas, they are craftsmen. 503 00:40:28,890 --> 00:40:32,170 They make their living by manufacturing wooden legs for the mopos. 504 00:40:33,930 --> 00:40:35,630 It's like a circle, it goes round. 505 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:41,060 We were helped on our way by our native guide, Tambor, and he was very expert at 506 00:40:41,060 --> 00:40:43,660 catching the many shellfish that lived on the banks of the river. 507 00:40:43,940 --> 00:40:46,400 Here is Mikaela admiring his mussels. 508 00:40:50,340 --> 00:40:51,560 And his cockle. 509 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,700 Soon we arrived at the Yakulo jungle. 510 00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:04,880 Now, oh, it was very hot, I must tell them. It was very hot in the jungle. We 511 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,760 had to wear our pith helmets. 512 00:41:09,460 --> 00:41:14,940 The jungle was a mass of lush tropical vegetation surrounding a small inland 513 00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:19,140 sea. And it was here in this inland sea that we found a very rare freshwater 514 00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:20,380 female soul. 515 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,480 And it lived in this inland sea for 20 years. 516 00:41:23,700 --> 00:41:28,160 And yet during all that time, no male soul had ever found its way into the 517 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:29,058 inland sea. 518 00:41:29,060 --> 00:41:30,220 Poor old soul. 519 00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:39,180 He wants to play. 520 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,380 That's my little betty. For a minute, I thought it was you. 521 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,340 I don't want. I don't want him. 522 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:51,200 I'm so sorry, but Mikael is pet so quite at this time of the year. 523 00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:52,700 Yes. 524 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,940 The Yakulo jungle is inhabited by two distinctly different tribes, the 525 00:41:57,940 --> 00:41:58,939 and the Piglins. 526 00:41:58,940 --> 00:42:02,820 Now, the Watutsis stand about six feet four, and they wear pig leaves. 527 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,420 And the pygmies stand about four foot six and they wear tea leaves. 528 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:15,640 Yes, the pygmies, they're great storytellers. And they love to tell the 529 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:20,300 the great white father who came to visit them and stayed with them for 40 years 530 00:42:20,300 --> 00:42:23,420 because he loved them and because he wanted to help them. And because he 531 00:42:23,420 --> 00:42:24,880 couldn't find his way out of the jungle. 532 00:42:33,070 --> 00:42:35,690 They love... She has eaten a piece of my hat. 533 00:42:36,530 --> 00:42:40,930 They love to tell the story also of how the great white father one day went 534 00:42:40,930 --> 00:42:44,130 walking through the jungle and came across a lion that was limping because 535 00:42:44,130 --> 00:42:48,130 had a thorn in its foot. And he went up to the lion and lifted up its paw and 536 00:42:48,130 --> 00:42:52,550 took the thorn out. And the lion went over to him and licked him to show him 537 00:42:52,550 --> 00:42:53,549 grateful it was. 538 00:42:53,550 --> 00:42:54,610 And then it ate him. 539 00:42:57,350 --> 00:43:00,470 What's the matter with you in there? 540 00:43:00,670 --> 00:43:01,690 We hope to have another series. 541 00:43:02,890 --> 00:43:06,750 In the meantime, on behalf of... On behalf of... On behalf of... 542 00:43:46,570 --> 00:43:50,090 Come on, now. Time you were getting off home, eh? Isn't it? Come on, old lad. 543 00:43:50,090 --> 00:43:54,530 What have I done? Now, look, we can't have glass all over the place now, can 544 00:43:54,570 --> 00:43:55,229 eh? Nothing. 545 00:43:55,230 --> 00:43:57,310 I'm not hurting anyone. I'm minding my own business. 546 00:43:57,650 --> 00:43:59,870 I'm not hurting anyone, am I? No way. 547 00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:07,270 Now, come on, old lad. Come on. Now, look, we don't want cars. Look at that 548 00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:10,810 glass. Now, look, listen. Is that your glass? 549 00:44:11,470 --> 00:44:12,470 All right. 550 00:44:13,090 --> 00:44:14,490 All right, all right. 551 00:44:14,730 --> 00:44:17,070 You behave yourself, eh? 552 00:44:18,630 --> 00:44:22,810 You want to get on up and lick the inspector's boots, you do, mate. Stop 553 00:44:22,810 --> 00:44:23,810 interfering with people. 554 00:44:24,330 --> 00:44:25,910 No, not you, mate. 555 00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:28,670 Coppers are all the like that. I'm not interfering with anyone. 556 00:44:29,190 --> 00:44:31,510 Interfering all the time, then. What did you say I was? 557 00:44:32,650 --> 00:44:35,310 You want to punch his thighs right out of your face, do you? 558 00:44:35,510 --> 00:44:37,390 How do you like this in your ugly bust? 559 00:44:38,310 --> 00:44:39,390 Help! Help! 560 00:44:40,190 --> 00:44:41,190 Officer, police! 561 00:44:41,370 --> 00:44:42,790 Officer! Help! Police! 562 00:44:43,630 --> 00:44:44,630 Help! 563 00:44:45,130 --> 00:44:46,550 I'll tell you what the police are. 564 00:44:46,830 --> 00:44:48,910 The greatest police force is a horse. 565 00:44:50,590 --> 00:44:54,710 Of course, it's a farce. We've all been brainwashed into believing things are 566 00:44:54,710 --> 00:44:55,710 what they're not. 567 00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:56,750 And they're not. 568 00:44:57,630 --> 00:45:00,690 It's television, isn't it? I'll tell you what happens. Somebody on television 569 00:45:00,690 --> 00:45:02,190 commits a heinous crime. 570 00:45:02,490 --> 00:45:06,870 They steal a diamond about that big. But what happens? Inspector Lockhart rings 571 00:45:06,870 --> 00:45:11,050 up Interpol. Interpol get in touch with one of the four just men and they 572 00:45:11,050 --> 00:45:14,970 apprehend the criminal in a penthouse in Rome in 25 minutes. 573 00:45:16,290 --> 00:45:19,150 My bicycle pump was stolen three weeks ago. 574 00:45:19,950 --> 00:45:21,670 I've seen it or heard of it since. 575 00:45:21,890 --> 00:45:25,570 And I'm not the only one. The vicar leaves his bicycle outside the battered 576 00:45:25,570 --> 00:45:29,470 trumpet every evening. And three times he's had his bicycle pump stolen. 577 00:45:29,970 --> 00:45:33,550 The police told him to take his bicycle pump in with him. He did, and they stole 578 00:45:33,550 --> 00:45:34,550 his bicycle. 579 00:45:34,770 --> 00:45:38,090 I mean, it's time the police apprehended some of these hooligans. 580 00:45:38,390 --> 00:45:40,970 There are too many hooligans running loose. 581 00:45:41,870 --> 00:45:43,490 It's time the police did something about it. 582 00:45:44,030 --> 00:45:47,510 Well, they've got no sense of humour, have they? I mean, they absolutely 583 00:45:47,510 --> 00:45:48,510 our rag week. 584 00:45:48,730 --> 00:45:50,130 We had a super cape on too. 585 00:45:50,390 --> 00:45:54,590 You know what we did? We went into the local park and we tore up all the 586 00:45:54,590 --> 00:45:59,310 flowers, chopped down all the trees, chopped down all the park benches and 587 00:45:59,310 --> 00:46:01,670 them all over the place. And it was super. 588 00:46:01,930 --> 00:46:03,430 And the police didn't like it a bit. 589 00:46:03,670 --> 00:46:05,230 Why did you do it in the first place? 590 00:46:05,450 --> 00:46:08,090 To call attention to the charity that we were supporting. 591 00:46:08,410 --> 00:46:09,410 And what was that? 592 00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:11,630 Preservation of British parks. 593 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,140 Well, one has to keep in with them, doesn't one? 594 00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:20,460 As a matter of fact, we've invited the commissioner along to the party tomorrow 595 00:46:20,460 --> 00:46:21,980 night at the Ladies' Institute. 596 00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:27,600 Might be a little dull, though. I understand he is also the chairman of 597 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:28,598 -Drink League. 598 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,100 No, we are not the Anti -Drink League. 599 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,960 He's the chairman of the Anti -Vice League. 600 00:46:34,340 --> 00:46:37,560 Oh. Well, I knew there was something we shouldn't offer again. 601 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:42,420 Oh, well, none of us will get down to parking, will we? Oh, it's my 602 00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:47,080 Would a policeman have no right talking to Ted like that and showing him up in 603 00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,440 front of all these people? No. 604 00:46:48,740 --> 00:46:53,940 I'll admit he was doing over 30 miles a hour down a one -way street on a 605 00:46:53,940 --> 00:46:59,600 steamroller. And I will admit that he had no lights and he had had a few. But 606 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,220 the policeman had no right showing him up in front of all these people. 607 00:47:02,460 --> 00:47:03,940 Well, at least he didn't arrest him. 608 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,640 He couldn't arrest him, though, could he? I mean, he's only eight. 609 00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,140 Good evening. I'm speaking to you from the interrogation room of a police 610 00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:20,340 station. And I have with me here Chief Inspector Fred Scuttle. Good evening, 611 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,160 sir. Good evening, viewers. 612 00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:25,260 Remember, crime does not pay. 613 00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,600 Really? Well, it doesn't for me, I'll tell you that. 614 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,380 Inspector, in spite of what you've just said, how do you account for the rapid 615 00:47:34,380 --> 00:47:35,540 increase in crime? 616 00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:36,880 Women, sir. 617 00:47:37,479 --> 00:47:41,160 Women is responsible, sir. They egg the fellas on, you see. 618 00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:43,580 Look at this girl here, sir. 619 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:45,280 Naughty Nora. 620 00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:47,680 Norwood. 621 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,680 I mean, look at her, sir. You see, that girl eggs the fellas on, you see. And 622 00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:55,120 she leads men into a life of crime, sir. She's very attractive. 623 00:47:55,380 --> 00:47:57,500 I know, sir, but a girl like that could ruin a man. 624 00:47:58,620 --> 00:47:59,620 She was lucky. 625 00:48:01,580 --> 00:48:04,860 And look at the ladies' shoplifters, sir. The statistics is going up all the 626 00:48:04,860 --> 00:48:05,718 time, sir. 627 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:08,840 Mind you, luckily, sir, we do have a very high percentage of convictions. 628 00:48:09,180 --> 00:48:10,380 Ah, what are the figures like? 629 00:48:10,660 --> 00:48:11,660 Very nice, sir. 630 00:48:13,420 --> 00:48:16,960 Yeah, I see what you mean, sir. Yes, well, the percentage is very high, sir, 631 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,940 yes. But it's very difficult for the lads on the beach, you know, sir. 632 00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:22,340 Well, they have to catch them with the goods on them, you see, sir. 633 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,340 Very difficult, sir. 634 00:48:25,260 --> 00:48:28,780 I mean, one of our lads last week, he was outside this greengrocer's shop, 635 00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:31,080 He saw this skinny streaker, he saw this girl. 636 00:48:31,740 --> 00:48:36,420 Going in, skinny she was, sir, and two minutes afterwards, out comes this well 637 00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:38,060 -rounded lady. 638 00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:42,920 Two minutes afterwards, the manager comes out and says, two melons is 639 00:48:47,460 --> 00:48:51,080 Well, I mean to picture the constable's predicament, sir. 640 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:56,140 Yes, I can, I can. What did he do? Well, he ran after her, sir, tapped her on 641 00:48:56,140 --> 00:49:00,040 the shoulder, she turned round, and there he was, sir, face to face with two 642 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,040 the, one of the... 643 00:49:02,890 --> 00:49:07,690 Most difficult problems a constable could face, you see, sir. I mean, he 644 00:49:07,690 --> 00:49:08,910 she had the goods on her. 645 00:49:13,570 --> 00:49:15,330 He couldn't put his hands on her. 646 00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:17,890 You see, sir? 647 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:25,650 You see, he could have had her for theft, but she'd have had him for 648 00:49:27,430 --> 00:49:28,830 And then he found out. 649 00:49:29,030 --> 00:49:31,010 Found out what? She was foreign. 650 00:49:31,610 --> 00:49:33,640 Aye. See, she was a tourist. 651 00:49:33,940 --> 00:49:35,240 No, an au pair girl, sir. 652 00:49:36,860 --> 00:49:40,460 Now then, you see, sir, she didn't speak a word of English, and he had to 653 00:49:40,460 --> 00:49:45,940 explain what he was after in mime. 654 00:49:48,420 --> 00:49:51,720 And he lacks the subtlety of Marcel Marceau. 655 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:58,160 Yes, I see. Was an arrest finally made? Yes, sir, finally an arrest was made, 656 00:49:58,300 --> 00:50:00,160 sir. But we got him off. 657 00:50:04,590 --> 00:50:05,790 He pleaded insanity. 658 00:50:10,510 --> 00:50:13,070 He said he was mad about melons. 659 00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,760 I understand. It's not all George riding around in Z cars, you know, sir. I 660 00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:22,360 mean, the public jeering at us, sir, I know. But, sir, as soon as they're in 661 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:25,600 trouble, it's 999 like a shot, isn't it, sir? Yes. I mean, only last night a 662 00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:29,160 fellow phoned up. He said he had been attacked in his own garden, bashed on 663 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:31,900 head, sir. We sent a constable round and he got bashed on the head as well, sir. 664 00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,640 But did he catch the assailant? No, sir. He trot on the same rake. 665 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:42,000 It's not that there's an escort duty, sir. That can be very difficult, you 666 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,740 sir. I mean, a young constable, plainclothes man, has to escort a 667 00:50:45,820 --> 00:50:49,640 we'll say, from London all the way to Dartmoor by rail. 668 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:54,000 That can be a very hazardous, very embarrassing journey, sir. 669 00:50:54,300 --> 00:50:57,180 Yes, but surely the prisoner's handcuffed to the plainclothes man. 670 00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:58,840 Exactly, sir. 671 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,460 And it's a long way to Dartmoor. 672 00:51:05,089 --> 00:51:08,790 Well, you never know. I mean, so the prisoner might want to go and have a cup 673 00:51:08,790 --> 00:51:09,790 tea, sir? 674 00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:12,550 Or anything. I mean, the mind boggles, doesn't it? 675 00:51:13,550 --> 00:51:14,890 The mind does, anyway. 676 00:51:16,010 --> 00:51:18,790 Quite, Inspector. But, of course, you're far more concerned with actually 677 00:51:18,790 --> 00:51:23,330 catching criminals. Oh, we catch them, sir. Look, only yesterday morning 678 00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:29,070 Scotland Yard sent us photographs of 13 vicious criminals, sir. We already have 679 00:51:29,070 --> 00:51:32,490 12 of these men under lock and key, and we ought to have the 13th under lock and 680 00:51:32,490 --> 00:51:34,630 key by nightfall tonight, sir. 681 00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:38,450 But, Inspector, these are all different photographs of the same man. 682 00:51:41,590 --> 00:51:42,590 Are they, sir? 683 00:51:43,930 --> 00:51:45,150 So they are. 684 00:51:46,110 --> 00:51:47,810 Yeah, well, he'll be amongst the money. 685 00:51:49,310 --> 00:51:52,070 He'll be down there in the cells with the money, that fellow. 686 00:51:52,290 --> 00:51:55,410 Yes, but, Inspector, by nightfall, you're going to have 13 men locked up, 687 00:51:55,410 --> 00:51:57,930 only one of them is going to be the hurt pick. Ah, but we'll have our man. He'll 688 00:51:57,930 --> 00:51:58,930 be there, won't he, sir? 689 00:51:59,030 --> 00:52:00,910 Yes, but what are you going to tell the other 12? 690 00:52:01,819 --> 00:52:04,380 I'll have to kid them on they're a jury, won't we, sir? 691 00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:06,780 Not bad on you, sir. 692 00:52:07,660 --> 00:52:08,780 No, I thought you might have one. 693 00:52:10,820 --> 00:52:13,020 This, then, is Britain's police force. 694 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,400 Considered by many to be the finest in the world. 695 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:21,340 Perhaps it would be well to cease name -calling and jeering and give them, our 696 00:52:21,340 --> 00:52:24,620 police force, the respect they so richly deserve. There you are, old black 697 00:52:24,620 --> 00:52:28,180 stuggins. Right on. You're a couple of sick people, aren't you? 698 00:52:29,580 --> 00:52:31,200 I wouldn't mind being in the arms of the Lord tonight. 699 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:33,400 What about you on the right then? 700 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:34,760 God, sexy. 701 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,580 I love you back, stockings. 702 00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:38,480 What are you doing tonight? And laugh. 703 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,740 Sexy, aren't you? I love you. 704 00:52:42,860 --> 00:52:44,440 Oh, stockings and the skirts. 705 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,020 Blimey. Oh, look at him. 706 00:52:47,340 --> 00:52:50,660 Come on, come on, come on. What are you doing? Get over it. 707 00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,820 Ladies and gentlemen, one of the most popular programmes on commercial 708 00:53:06,820 --> 00:53:10,960 television last year was Ladybirds, in which the cameras went behind the scenes 709 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,720 and gave you a peep into the private lives of well -known pop girl singers. 710 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,140 Well, we thought it was time that the pop boy singers had a chance, so here is 711 00:53:18,140 --> 00:53:21,100 the BBC's answer to Ladybirds. It's called Labby Boys. 712 00:53:44,970 --> 00:53:45,970 My son. 713 00:53:46,790 --> 00:53:51,270 Because he's been keen on the rhythm music, you know, like ever since he got 714 00:53:51,270 --> 00:53:52,290 that electric guitar. 715 00:53:52,590 --> 00:53:54,490 Oh, yeah. And he got it up the works raffle. 716 00:53:54,830 --> 00:53:55,609 He won it? 717 00:53:55,610 --> 00:53:57,070 No, he organised it. 718 00:53:58,290 --> 00:54:02,210 Like, then he joined this group of singers, you know. Didn't I have some 719 00:54:02,210 --> 00:54:07,850 names? There was Bushelhead and Knuckles and Four Eyes. 720 00:54:08,590 --> 00:54:10,090 They were lovely girls, though. 721 00:54:11,590 --> 00:54:13,090 But they're also proud of... 722 00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,060 my boy now, round here they are. 723 00:54:15,340 --> 00:54:20,140 At the last school prize giving, they asked him not to go along and give out 724 00:54:20,140 --> 00:54:25,760 prizes and take charge and everything up there. Only he had a kipper for his 725 00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:29,300 lunch and I think it was a bit off because he had a plane in and he 726 00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:32,100 along and sort of... Officiate? 727 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,040 Yes, it was a kipper he ate. 728 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:35,960 I think it was officiate. 729 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,640 Oh, he's a lovely boy. He is, really. I mean, you couldn't wish to have a nicer 730 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:41,640 brother than Ernie. 731 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:43,300 Oh, dear. 732 00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:45,960 You didn't know his name was Ernie, did you? 733 00:54:46,580 --> 00:54:47,980 Well, it is Ernie, yes. 734 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,280 Ernie Pulteney. 735 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:54,660 Still, I suppose Ernie Pulteney's not a very good name for a pop singer, is it? 736 00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:00,400 But I, of course, retain the name of Pulteney. We're our work at Niggles 737 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:01,400 Hardware Store. 738 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,540 But then, of course, I work a whole year... 739 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,900 to make the same amount of money as Ernie gets for making one gramophone 740 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,660 Still, that's life, I suppose. Not that I grudged him at all, because he's a 741 00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:13,840 lovely boy, he really is. 742 00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:15,680 Generous to a halt. 743 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:19,220 Yes, he's a lovely lad. I mean, he's good to his mother. 744 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:22,200 And he's admired and he's respected. 745 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,540 And he's decent and he's clean living. 746 00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:28,920 I only wish I could say the same about some of those little scrubbers that he 747 00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:29,920 knocks about with. 748 00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:31,440 But I can't. 749 00:55:32,390 --> 00:55:34,270 Still, that's only a text, I mean. 750 00:55:35,330 --> 00:55:38,670 Mind, of course, it hasn't been easy for him, you know, because he had a hard 751 00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:43,290 life. I mean, he left school at 14 and he was out of work for the next 11 and a 752 00:55:43,290 --> 00:55:45,750 half years. Oh, how old did he tell you he was? 753 00:55:46,150 --> 00:55:47,770 19. Did he really? 754 00:55:48,070 --> 00:55:49,070 Oh, well, I never. 755 00:55:50,230 --> 00:55:52,470 Oh, 19, eh? Well, that would be, yes, 756 00:55:53,550 --> 00:55:56,910 five years he was out of work. Well, he couldn't do any heavy work, you see, on 757 00:55:56,910 --> 00:55:57,910 account of his back. 758 00:55:58,370 --> 00:55:59,410 Oh, what's wrong with it? 759 00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:02,290 It's got a yellow streak down it. That's what's wrong with it. 760 00:56:04,110 --> 00:56:07,270 But he is your brother, you know. 761 00:56:07,870 --> 00:56:11,230 No, Mother, I will speak my mind. I will, I will. I mean, look at the tricks 762 00:56:11,230 --> 00:56:15,410 he's pulled on me. What about my bicycle pump, then? What about my bicycle pump? 763 00:56:15,910 --> 00:56:17,930 Three years I never had my bicycle pump back. 764 00:56:18,210 --> 00:56:21,390 And what about Angela and the baby? You don't know about Angela and the baby, do 765 00:56:21,390 --> 00:56:24,410 you? Oh, he's a lovely boy. And I tell you something, when he left school, he 766 00:56:24,410 --> 00:56:28,270 was out of work for a bit, like, and his mum, she had to keep him by taking him 767 00:56:28,270 --> 00:56:31,700 washing. And I'll say one thing with that boy, he wasn't ashamed. 768 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,120 He wasn't a bit ashamed. 769 00:56:33,700 --> 00:56:37,640 He knew, you see, he knew she wasn't strong enough to do any work, see. Oh, I 770 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,960 wouldn't say that. I mean, since he got on, he can't do enough for her. He 771 00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:43,360 bought her a wash tub, he bought her a mango and a scrubbing brush and all that 772 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:44,360 sort of thing, you know. 773 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,180 Boy, I knew he'd get on because he got it up there, see. I tell you something, 774 00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:48,240 we used to be out with her. 775 00:56:48,540 --> 00:56:51,380 with a scrap iron on the old horse and cart, you know, and he used to put the 776 00:56:51,380 --> 00:56:54,000 blinkers on the horse and get it on the cart, and he used to say, here, go on 777 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,120 there, go on, Dobby, go on, Jackie boy, go on, Charlie boy, get up there, Neddy, 778 00:56:58,120 --> 00:56:58,839 you know. 779 00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,280 How many horses did he have, then? Yeah, only the one with the blinkers on him, 780 00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,120 you see, and even all the other names, you know, he thought there was a lot of 781 00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:08,760 other horses helping him, so it was a bit hard, and I knew he'd get on that 782 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,440 I knew he'd get on. 783 00:57:11,820 --> 00:57:17,160 Now, here's that great star text symbol with his latest hit. 784 00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:21,060 Joined by Patsy Ann Noble in Our Garden of Love. 785 00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:28,720 Oh, the sun and the rain fell from up above 786 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:35,680 and landed on the earth below in our garden of 787 00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:36,680 love. 788 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:44,820 Oh, there's a rose for the day we met. A rose when we 789 00:57:44,820 --> 00:57:47,320 met. But forget me. 790 00:57:47,790 --> 00:57:54,710 to remind me to remember not to forget a pine tree 791 00:57:54,710 --> 00:58:01,390 for the way I pined over you and an 792 00:58:01,390 --> 00:58:08,010 ash for the day I asked you to be true and 793 00:58:08,010 --> 00:58:14,150 the sun and the rain fell from up above 794 00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:38,160 Turnip, for the way you always used to turnip. Your 795 00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:45,080 mother and your cousin Chris, they often used to come. 796 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:51,160 So in their honor, I have raised a nice Chris. 797 00:59:09,770 --> 00:59:15,910 Oh, there's a beetroot for the day that you said you'd beetroot to me. 798 00:59:16,650 --> 00:59:23,310 A sweet pea for the sweet way you always smiled at me. 799 00:59:23,990 --> 00:59:30,950 But you had friends who needed you. There was Ferdie, there was Liza. 800 00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:38,210 So in their honor, I put down a load of Ferdie Liza. 801 00:59:39,050 --> 00:59:45,170 And the sun and the rain fell from up above 802 00:59:45,170 --> 00:59:51,890 and landed on me in our garden 803 00:59:51,890 --> 00:59:52,890 of love. 804 00:59:54,910 --> 01:00:01,490 But Gus the gardener's gone now, and you went with him too. 805 01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:08,590 The fungus here reminds me of the fungus he's having with you. 806 01:00:08,860 --> 01:00:15,340 The rockery's a mockery With weeds it's overgrown 807 01:00:15,340 --> 01:00:21,860 The fuchsia's gone I couldn't face the fuchsia all 808 01:00:21,860 --> 01:00:28,740 alone And my tears fell like raindrops From the sky 809 01:00:28,740 --> 01:00:35,260 above And poisoned all the flowers In 810 01:00:35,260 --> 01:00:37,160 my garden of love 811 01:00:50,799 --> 01:00:53,520 I'm afraid that's all we've time for at this point. We'll be back with you again 812 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:54,600 before very long, I hope. 813 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,320 Until then, on behalf of us all, good night and God bless.